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From the CDC website
As parents, it seems we never stop worrying about our children.
And when they finally reach adolescence, the risks seem endless.
Although our instinct is to protect them and anticipate any harm
that might come their way, it becomes increasingly difficult when
our children are living with epilepsy.
As teens, their job is to break away from us and become their own
persons. And ours is to let go and watch from a distance. Because we
can’t be with them 24–7, this letting go process can be a time of
stress and constant worry.
Before we know it, we are spending all of our time concerned
about this one special person. And our other relationships are
beginning to suffer. Before too long, we feel isolated and so do the
people who love us. To feel reconnected and regain the strength it
takes to let go, it’s important to reach out to others.
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Reach Out to Your Spouse
WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE become parents. Once a
romantic couple, our relationship becomes redefined and we become
co–parents. Add to that the challenges and fears of raising a child
with epilepsy, as well as the different ways we react to stress and
the divide increases. To bridge the gap, we must make a continued
effort to reach out to our partners.
- Take time at the end of the day to talk
about something other than your teen.
- Never go to bed angry.
- Remember what attracted you to each other
in the first place.
- Make a date to go out together at least
once a week. Make that date sacred.
- Find someone you can trust as a back–up in
the event of an emergency.
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Reach Out to Your Children
A TEEN’ S EPILEPSY AFFECTS THE WHOLE FAMILY. If your teen
has brothers or sisters, chances are they worry about their sibling
as well. And when they are not worried, they may be feeling a bit
resentful that they aren’t getting as much attention. Complex as
these emotions are, they can all be eased by openness, love, and
attention.
- Make listening to each of your children a
priority. Talk about their feelings.
- Spend some time, even just 10 minutes,
alone with each child each day, or create special one–on–one
time with each of your children on a consistent basis.
- Find something special to celebrate
individually with each child.
- Have positive answers for “I hate her” or
“You love him more than me.”
- Help your children learn to be advocates,
react to the stigma that still faces their sibling, and educate
others about the condition.
- Carry a cell phone or pager so that your
spouse and kid(s) can reach you if they need to.
Reach Out to Other Parents
THERE ARE MORE THAN A QUARTER OF a million parents in the
United States going through a similar experience—they have a teen
living with epilepsy. Like you, these parents and their families
have faced challenges along the way, and most are happy to share
their stories. Through support groups, you can meet parents and
learn about the strategies and tips that have worked for them.
Contact the Epilepsy Foundation at
www.efa.org to find a support group in your area. Or ask them
about organizing one of your own.
- Attend a parent support group or consider
joining an online forum.
- Start a parent support group if one is not
available in your area.
- Participate with other parents in an
annual Epilepsy Run/Walk that raises awareness.
- Share with other parents tips, ideas, and
strategies that have worked for you.
Reach Out to Yourself
AS PARENTS, OUR OWN NEEDS ALWAYS SEEM to come last. But we
can’t keep giving if we don’t have the time to replenish ourselves.
Giving all that we can to all of our loved ones means taking care of
number one first. Here are some basic tips:
- Schedule time for yourself each week—a
walk in the woods, read a book, take a yoga class, get a new
look, or even go bargain shopping. Take the time to do something
that makes you happy.
- Stay in touch with yourself. Keep a
journal in which you can express feelings and thoughts.
- Continue to grow and reach your
potential—whatever it takes.
- Try to eat healthfully and stay physically
active to prevent chronic disease.
- Look your best. Although it takes energy,
it also feeds your spirit.
- Remember who you are. Look at old photos
from before you got married and had kids.
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Epilepsy Information
Epilepsy Health Information
Epilepsy - Questions and Answers
Epilepsy Family Toolkit |